The Dissenting End

Folder: 
2006-07 Poems

From what,

From way.

From that.

To this.



My life,

My end.

My start,

I stop.



Cornered,

Ready to kill those who block the only exit I know.

Look over at the razor,

Dripping with his blood.



My time is over,

Before it even began.



Running from myself.

Beating my head into a wall,

Watching the stain of blood grow larger.



Paint my world red,

Mine or yours,

It doesn’t matter to me.

Just kill us all.



From what came,

From what may,

From now till then,

From you to me.



You don't get me,

No one fucking does.



Addicted to pity,

Hating my reflection,

Hating connection,

Hating perfection,

Yet craving it all the same.



I seek what I can't let myself feel.



Love, happiness, fun.

Life.

Joy.



Yet I swim in the pain,

The hurt, anger and hatred.

Drink it down,

Snort it up.

The lines of blood,

The chalice of my demise.



Spinning around in the circle of my grave.

Dark and decaying,

Old and wet,

Rotting and dead.

Stone and dirt,

All that is left.



Bloody hands,

Rotting bone,

Dead flesh.



The smell attracts the fear,

Yet the eyes remain alive.

Watching as you tear the body apart.



River of red,

Sky of blue.

Sun of gold,

Clouds of gray.

Life of pain.



Chasing what will never be found,

Running from what I earn for everyday.



No matter what you say it won’t change,

I say it to myself everyday.



I don't have the self control to stop eating,

How the fuck am I supposed to stop being.



Death.

Cold.

Quiet.

Simple.



Death.

More alive then you know.



The walls of my hell,

The white paint melting away.

The anger inside boiling out.



Spread across the wall,

As the knife is pulled form my neck.

Impaled on the spikes at the bottom of their feet.



Laugh as I look down, see it through my heart,

My chest.

Roll in my own end.

Laughing to get the wish.

The dream.



Fade away,

Let me fade away.

A distant memory.

Don't care for this mess.

Don't care for the man who was dead already.

Don't give a shit.

It's not like any of you really did anyway.



Watch through the glass walls.

Watch the bullet tear apart my brain,

The bones and blood hitting your face,

The razor digging into a wrist,

Cutting the vein of life,

Watch it all drip away.

Bang as heard as you can.

The glass will never break.



You may know me,

But you have no idea just how good I am,

How far I've come.

How well I hide,

How strong the walls are.



Yet even the unsinkable ship met an early end.

And I can only hope for the same.

Jump in front of the truck.



The grin of victory.

The elation of freedom.

The dissenting end.

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