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Try To Understand
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Personal Poems Hell at home,
Escape with friends.
Only to face more of the same.
The last thing I needed...
Someone crying next to me,
As I silently cry to myself.
I yelled,
For the first time in a long time.
And it felt strangely good.
Letting some anger break free,
To bad it was at you...
All I ask is for you to try to understand.
Who I am and where I'm coming from.
All I ask is for you to believe.
That I am here,
And even if I'm not happy,
It’s not because of you.
All I ask is for you all to know:
You're the best friends I ever had,
Even if I don't always show it.
Life sucks.
Pain at home,
Listening to my mother cry herself to sleep.
What do you want?
What can I do?
Why can't I help?
Why am I always wrong?
The dream shattered.
This isn’t going to change.
Try to understand.
It's hitting me.
Life is over,
At least how I knew it.
Understand I'm carrying enough emotions to break a dam.
Understand that I haven't been happy in months.
Understand it’s all an act.
And I'm losing the energy to keep pulling it off.
You all mean so much to me,
You could never understand.
You're my lifeline,
The reason I'm here,
The reason I can't pull the trigger.
Your laughter,
Loving and caring.
You’re coming with me to see my dad,
Your kind words,
And harsh thoughts.
In the end it's the best friend I've ever had.
Try to understand.
Were I am coming from.
Why I'm like I am.
And how hard I'm trying to change for you.
For everyone.
Those I've hurt.
And those I've dismissed.
It's the last year of our young lives.
Our last year as kids.
I don't want to ruin it for you.
So maybe just leave me alone,
Let me self destruct,
And let you all live on.
That way you won’t have a bad time.
You and your penguin,
The one gift I couldn't put down.
Your one of the best.
Even if I never show it.
You may be a bitch at times, but I love you for it.
All you’ve given me,
Even if I don't show it.
Try to understand me.
Either give me space and time when I need it.
Or leave me alone for good.
And to the second person I ever told.
How much this summer men.
Your thoughts and advice,
They mean a lot.
Your thoughts and understand,
A great friend,
Even if I always forget to call you.
I just don't understand sometimes.
But I hope you can.
Brief moments when anger and hate take over,
Or truly rare moments when I'm happy.
Someday you will understand,
And if you never can,
You'll never see me again.
Disappear into the night.
You all are the reason I haven't already.
Yet I keep staggering near the table.
Haven't felt the cold steel in my hands for so long.
Used to every night.
But moved on, beyond.
But now I stumble back,
Closer to the end.
But grasping on for one last chance.
Pull it together,
Pull me out.
Try to understand where I'm coming from.
Try to understand why I am.
Leave me alone when I don't want to talk.
It's not you, understand that.
But sometimes I need to deal.
But there are times I need to talk,
Maybe just sit and cry.
I can't expect you to understand that.
I just ask that you try to understand...
Understand that I sometimes need to be alone.
But it’s not all about me,
Because of the way I am.
I just need to deal sometimes.
And I don't want you to be in my way sometimes.
Try to understand.
Someday I should be ok.
Or I'll be dead.
But either way,
Something will change.
But for the moment,
Please just try to understand me,
Why I am who I am.
You’re all the best,
I never want to loose this...
