I knew the direction I was going

but somewhere along the way

I got lured off the path

and now I’m deep in the woods

and the things hidden in the darkness

in the shadows

that once scared me away

now seem to be my only source of fellowship

of feeling involved, accepted and of belonging

instead of rejected, ignored and left out

but, is God testing me?

does God still have his eye on me?

is his finger still guiding my footsteps?

am I just some pawn in a twisted game

between the spiritual forces of good and evil?

All bets are on the table...

will she stay true to God?

despite her loneliness, will she stand firm

in her decision not to date around

(especially with a man of the world)

or will she let her weaknesses become her death?

will she toss away her heart

into the hands of one

who will only squeeze it until the blood

drips to nothing?

will she guard her heart

like she knows she’s supposed to

or will she open its doors

for the thieves to sneak in

and rob her of her purpose, her identity

(it’s the day time soap opera you don’t wanna miss)

let all the angels and demons

gather around the cosmic television set

cast their ballots

ante up the bet

where will she compromise next?

even the good Christian girl falls sometimes

...but does this mean she should continue falling?

deeper and deeper into sin

farther and farther away from the Savior

deep down I know

if I persevere... God will bless me

but my eyes are staring more and more

at the things of this world

I began this race with vivacity

but now I can’t even move

much less run or walk

I know God is talking to me…

warning me of my disobedience

but all I want to do is ignore Him

I sense His pleas...

but I just don’t want to listen

I don’t want to run anymore

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this because I was feeling really burnt out from life... I don't exactly intend on forfeiting my faith in God... I was merely venting in this poem.

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