Not hearing from you,

can be intolerable at times.


Especially if I don't

have a clue on whats going on.


Even still,

I want to be selfish.


I don't want our conversations

to pause. 

To be continued for some other time.


But I guess you have felt like that before.

Maybe not with me, but by others.


Now it's my turn to feel suffering.

To feel a torment of not knowing

when you get back to me.


The games I play in my head,

they're dangerous. 

My pessimism gets the better of me

in that stillness.


Not knowing anything,

and only my thoughts to dance in my head.


But in my selfishness,

I have tried to make it more about you

than me.


I know I can only be a part of your world,

and not be your world.


Still, I feel it's not a enough sometimes.


I know you need to live your life as well,

and I can't let it poison what we do have. 


I do care, moreso than I did before.

And it's more about your well being,

how you were doing, 

and if you were safe.


The thoughts can be maddening at times,

the torment can be strong,

but the silence is down right deadly. 


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