on being a mom

when I'm wandering thru darkness

like i often do

its your face

your smile

your heartbreak

that always leads me thru

little girl innocence

i envy you

a naive ness i wish

i could live through

just one more time

your eyes full of hope

full of discontent

filled will insecurities

you don't understand yet

i know I've let you down

never having appreciated

what i truly had

that one person who will love me

the one I've been searching for all along

but I'm afraid of disappointing you

I'm afraid i wont measure up

terrified of turning you

into a version of me

i see myself in you

in so many ways

your smile that melts others

eyes that cry out

with just a single glance

your attitude

your brilliance

i am a mother afraid to fail

trying hard to be your friend

trying to comprehend

struggling not to bend

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