New confusion!

I can’t believe how young I used to be,

I thought I saw everything, I thought I knew me,

How often I find I know others better than myself,

Now residing in dark reflections, I think this time I need help.

For so long I believed I knew what everything meant,

I knew your motions, your words, and from our time spent,

I knew what you were thinking, even though sometimes it hurt,

I remember how quickly I became your crutch, and now I realize it made me worse.

The only leaning I could do was on thin air,

I had to prop myself up, but the strength was so spare,

I trusted all the things I held, everything I thought I knew,

And slowly one by one everything left, but then there was you…

I was crazy to think I’d been in love

Only now can I see what it’s really made of,

It’s so confusing now, even more when I look back,

There’s so much I didn’t know, and there’s still more that I lack.

There are so many things I’d like to hide about my past,

Even things about yours that I wished you’d let pass,

Sometimes I get worried, even though I know you’re true,

Will time tell me right? Or will old pain begin anew?

The closer I become, the more confused I am,

And there’s always something hurting, something I can’t stand,

I thought this kind of thing would make it all go away,

But that’s when I see the old me that is hanging on in vain.

Sometimes I get so nervous, so scared it seems,

But other times I’m so relaxed, I feel so free,

I never thought someone could actually feel for me,

Perhaps the shock is just that, I haven’t opened my eyes to see.

Maybe it’s just too early, we’ve just begun forming our shape,

I just hope I find some sense, hopefully before it’s too late,

I’ve always had a knack for wrecking every chance,

Luck’s never been on my side, especially in romance.

So now I go on and the question still remains,

I don’t know if I even know what the question is,

Confusion will reign, at least until meaning I gain,

I just hope this world clears up, I hope there’s nothing I miss.

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