Unexpected Savior

Harsh words pour past lips that once spoke in such a loving tone.

   Piercing--

Past the ears that wish so much to block the cruelties out.



Shattering the young woman's soul that they are directed at.

A young woman-- who was once, filled such hope.

   I am that young woman.

I now feel cold and alone; when once I had felt so accepted.



My heart aches with such pain--

As the anvil of your hatred pounds ruthlessly down upon it.

Why must you despise me so?

   Why now--

When only moments before, you had professed to love me like no other?



Why can you not just accept the part of me that you want so much to change?

   You cannot control that part of me.

So why must you be so negative?



I trusted you-- something that is rarely done.

But that wasn't good enough for you, was it?

   You betrayed my trust by hurting me this way.

That is not something that I can easily forgive.



You swore to me that you wouldn't hurt me!

And like a foolish child

   ... I believed you.

Then again, believing is all part of the lie to begin with.

Is it not?



Random thoughts such as these flash through my mind as I sob out my anguish.

   Head pressed tight against my knees--

Nails gouging bloodied crescent moons into the palms of my hands.



This tortured feeling tears through me relentlessly.

   As if it will never let up.

An almost never-ending darkness pushes at me from all sides.

I try so hard to fight it back.



It feels as if an eternity has passed me by in my loneliness.

   My ears straining desperately for a sound.

Yet at the same time, I am uncertain as to what that sound might be.



But then a voice is calling my name-- and I think to myself,

   "Surly I must be hallucinating."

I am proven wrong almost instantly as the thought weaves its way through my scattered brain.



I find myself being pulled close to a firm chest.

Strong arms snake they're way around me.

A gentle swaying motion soothes me and

   He whispers into my hair,

"Sweet one, why must you cry in such a way?"



"It's as if I can taste the pain that you feel-- in the tears that fall shamelessly from your troubled eyes.

   I taste it.

In the way those salty drops of pure emotion land onto my lips.

Scalding them almost, as they gently brush across your cheek."



An attempt on my part to let out an "amused laugh" only manages to turn into a strangled sob.

I cry to him of how the one I'd loved had disowned me--

   Because of who I am.

I tell of the pain that person has left me to be consumed by.



Suddenly, the soothing comfort of that steady rocking ceases.

His hands pull my body from its fetal position so tight against him.

   My chin is lifted up for my eyes to meet his gaze.

"Hush now.

There is no need to feel such pain over someone who was too stupid to realize just what they had."



"Someone that was foolish enough to let such a beautiful soul go.

You are a strong, intelligent individual-- and you should know better than to shed tears over someone who is pathetic and unworthy of you.

   You are my Warrior."

He says with such conviction-- emphasizing with a little shake of my arms.



I nod up at him, unable to do much more at the moment.

The look of certainty he wears, at the words he's just voiced, strengthens me.

   My flood of tears dries.

It's like he expects me to say something-- so I respond with the only thing that comes to mind.

In a voice, that quivers, even as it attempts to sound sure.



"I am a Warrior!

No more will I tolerate being someone’s verbal punching bag.

   I have had enough!"

He gets this sad sort of smile upon his lips as he pulls me into his arms once more--

And he says to me,

  

"I believe you."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2007 written during hard times in my life. This poem is based upon the confusion between one friend and myself; the words of another friend, offered in help to my dilemmas; and a reoccurring dream that plagued my nights, of a man I would have never thought could save me.

View natasha's Full Portfolio