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I’ve been clean for months

But I need a new drug to fill me.

I feel the need to reopen my scars

And bleed at this emptiness inside.

I’m alone and I wish he were here.

Here to medicate me with his love.

I’m grieving and my hurt must show

And out of these veins, my blood must

Flow.

I must pay for my sins

Because he is sparing me his forgiveness,

As if that could ever be enough.

I write a letter

But to send it

-never.

I’ll just soak up my tears and

Blood just like a good friend should.

The friend he wants to never be.