Falling out of love was so easy.

Falling out of love with you was so easy over time.

Day by day, week by week, month by month,

with each breath you took to speak such mean things to me,

with each hole in the wall,  with each fist you made,  every verbal blow,

to my heart. It crushed me. 


You where no longer the man, who I fell in love with.

You where a new monster in my head, taking over me.

The voices , the words, the screams from you would take every

bit of strength from me.


I would lay on the floor in tears, wondering why I couldnt be loved.

Why didnt i deserve it? To have a man to love me, adore me, to protect me?

Instead here i am, trapped with another man like my father who beats me down,

emotionally, and physically. Another evil man who makes me cry and think about dying.


Falling out of love with you was so easy, you did it for me. 

Every day that i have been away from you has made me stronger,

and shown me what im worth, I am a good women, and deserve so much better then you.


I never will be told that im nothing, I never will let a man be mean to my son,

I never will be beat down, I never will spend another day in my home, being afraid.

Never to walk on egg shells ever again, Never to feel like a slave , never to be lusted after,

I will be loved, and respected, and adored. I will find a man who is a real man, not a abusive boy.


Real men, dont yell, threaten, or hit. Maybe you should learn that. Ill never be afraid of you again.


Falling out of love was so thrilling for me, I finally am free to be me.


I am Elfy again. Welcome back my old friend. I have missed you.



Author's Notes/Comments: 

Back in Oct i left my ex boyfriend and father to my youngest son. I finally got the strength and opened my eyes and saw past the darkness.

I didnt want to live that way anymore. No longer ment to live in fear, in rejection. I deserve to be loved. 

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