My Thoughts (Short Essay)

Short Essays

It was the year that started it all, the year that I started to wonder what life is all about.  The year is 2000, the place, Curry College.  I wrote this because one day someone got me really mad and I dicided to write the first thoughts that came to my mind; and therefore I wrote these words:

The question that i am asking myself is “Who am I really and what is my buisness or duty here on this planet?”  I always ask these questions to myself because sometimes I don’t even know who I really am.  Or what am I here for.  To tell you the truth, “I have no idea or clue.”  People are always telling me that I am here to live and to succeed.  Then why to people always bug me, harass me, say words to me, say that I am a “”Stupid Mexican” or they also try to threaten or even run me over with their car(s)?  Even though I am Catholic, I do believe that there is a GOD, but my be;ieves differ from time-to-time.  What is the real definition of GOD?  I think we are all GOD and that every living and non-living obect is also GOD no matter it is an organism or “plastic”.
Maybe why I am different from everyone while I see everyone the same way because I am unique in my way of style and thinking.  But when I see everyone else, I see them as the same person, but their looks are different, but yet the same as well.  When I go to other countries and I see that everyone wears the same clothing, I always see one person always hiding from everyone else because he/she is different from the rest.  For example, in the painting, “Standing Guard”: In the painting there is an angel that rests kneeling from the gurads.  That is how I feel and I also feel sometimes like the 3rd wheel.  It doesn’t matter if I am at home, school, at the mall, on the beach, or with my so-called, “Friends”; I am always the one who is different from the rest.
That is another question I ask myself alot that I have asked over and over, “Who are my ‘TRUE’ friends?”:
- Because no friend abandons other friends.
- All friends are suppose to help and protect themselves and others.
- All friends should respect each other.
- All friend DO NOT make fun of just to cheer them up.
Really, what is a TRUE friend?  To me, a friend is suppose to help those who are hurt and/or in need.  No one really has ever done that to me EVER, really.  Before I knew all this, I knew that friends were to have fun and to enjoy life, but I am realizing now that friendship is not the meaning of life, but it is just how you use friendship.  What is friendship?  I always wonder.
I also realized something else.  “Us” meaning as the Human Race is stupid because look how long it took us to make technology.  It took us thousands of years!  With animals, they don’t even care about “Us”; they don’t even care about technology.  They only care about sleep, eat, survival, reproduction, and death.  With “Us” humans, we care about eat, sleep, survival, warmth, reproduction, how long until the AIDS Virus is gone, when are we going to find new life forms on distant galaxies, etc.
And also, take Religion.  Does GOD, Jesus, and all the characters in the Bible really exsisted in the past?  If they did, why can’t we ever find their tombs?  Why tell it in the Bible and not in the History books?  Is there a “True” story and/or a “False” story?  Why did these so-called “prophets” live in the past and not today?  these questions that I always ask myself.
Another question is: why do we entertain ourselves when most of the stuff are not funny; not worth seeing and/or making fun of, etc...  Just from looking at it, it reminds me of how in the TV show, “Captain Planet” was created by five cartoon characters.  In real life, we’re made from quarks = protons = the nuclei of the atom = clusters = molecules = cells = organism.  How can this process make “Us” think that we are made from dust and mud?  How can GOD creat the world in just 7 days, especially when the erath was made in millions and millions of years.
Another question, why do we build protection if it never works?  Back in the middle ages when pheasants only lived in huts...did they ever had protection?  Or how about castles after gunpowder was discovered?  After that, protection was not an answer.  The answer is survival.  But why do we survive if most of the time we loose?  Surviving is not really the anser.  There is really no answer to that question.
Another question is education and schools.  Education is taught everywhere; even in animals.  Animals educate each other for survival and food.  For Native Americans it is the same; but for the rest it is for history, believes, and technology.
Another thing, why do parents protect their young, but still, how can one person control another child’s mind.  It is the same as protection of buildings and castle, but instead with a living being.
So, why do I even bother of also living if we are “really not living,”  This is something I also don’t understand.

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