As I sit here and think,

Three days in to a new year,

Here’s what I know.


Oct. 2009 changed my life,

I tell you this now because its time to share it,

Or maybe just write it down for myself.


I went in for a surgery and I had my hopes way to high for something new,

All it did is brake my heart,

For the passed year I have been trying to find ways to fix this,

But I think I know now,

There’s a part of me that will never be the same,

It’s like a part of me died that month I was in the hospital,

I am not the same person.


This is the first time in over a year I am sitting and really writing something.


Mom I am sorry, I was really hoping for something better for myself. . . Like feeling better and no pain! Mom thanks for loving me and being by my side. . . You are always there when I need you, I love you so much!


Tom You are always there!  Thanks for being there for mom when I make things hard.  And OMG, thanks for picking up the phone when you are far away, I love you so much!


To my sisters I am sorry; I know its hard having a sister that is sick all the time.  And OMG I know I need to be a better auntie to the beautiful babies.  It’s just hard sometimes to be around them.  It makes me sad; my body is too tired to have my own sweet baby. So sometimes I think it is better to just stay away! But just know I love you all so much.


Grams I love you so much and you are my rock!  I am going to start calling more again!


Chad OMG, what can I say! You are so amazing and I Love U so much! You are why I get up in the morning to fight one day at a time.  I don’t do it for me anymore, I am just too tired.  But to see your face I will fight!


To my sweet friends OMG, I am so sorry!  I have not been a good friend! !  I am going to try my best to call and write more! !  Just know I am always here for you!


That is what I know and I love you!


Misty Yanish 

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