Dear *****,

I caused a disturbance during group today
they placed me in "the tank" for the rest of the evening
hoping it will calm me down
I asked if i could possibly use a paper and a pen
They begrudgingly agreed, and after a few hours i got it
I told them it would help to calm me
I just wanted to let you know
I'm not angry anymore *****, Im happy for you.
Happy that you have found new love
I just wish you'd write back sometimes
just once
I feel disgusting about you having to change your phone number
I swear I never meant to have it get that out of hand
you really didn't have to do that
reminds me of something else, something old maybe.
anyway, I hope he keeps you warm and kisses your arms the little way you always liked
Did you get my present?
Or did your new love just throw it away like the other one?
I'd like to imagine you sneaking to the trash can in the middle of the night
digging it out, unwrapping it and clutching it to your chest
sobbing and gasping as quietly as you possibly can, so he wont wake.
Falling to your knees and writhing back and forth, gazing upon the moon.
Thinking of our once perfect love under it, and how it felt endless.
But I know it wont be, not from here.
Another reason ill be in here longer next time.
sorry sorry sorry.

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