Farewell, Distant Lover

On the cusp of a year

since you’ve been gone,  

I can honestly admit

I still think about you sometimes.

I think about how happy

we once made each other

before I let my own insecurities

haunt our relationship.

Ghosts of my past floated in

and pointed out your microscopic flaws

so I would miss the big picture.

You cared about me

like no man had done before,

and it was a mystifying reality

I just could not accept.

I’ll never forgive myself

for not realizing what I had

until I lost it.

Here I was hating you all this time,

but you were the only one

who saw me for who I could be,

not for who I was.

You loved me at my worst

because you saw me at my best

even if my best would

never love you back.

Will you find it in your heart

to forgive me?

Will my sincere apologies

ever soften you enough

to be open to love again?

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