My default setting is paranoia,

to believe that you want to hurt me.


My gut has been wrong sometimes;

but with you it was completely right.


For 7 years, you made me believe

that you wanted to be in my life.


But I missed all the red flags.


Like the fact that I wouldn't see you

for years at a time.


Like the fact that you never 

shared anything about you with me.


Like the fact that you rarely

reached out to me.


I wish you had just left years ago

instead of dragging this out.


You left me when I had no one else.


You abandoned me and pushed me

to the brink of suicide.


And that was before I realized

that our friendship was a lie.

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