I Am Enough

Personal (Hope)

The perfectionist in me doesn't want to try anything unless I know without a doubt that I can succeed. So this keeps me from attempting so many things out of the fear that I will fail. But I have found myself starting to repeat: "I am enough. I am enough." Even when I fail, I am enough. Even when I don't try, I am enough. The fact that I wake up every day and face the world means I am enough. It's a mantra I need to whisper to myself to drown the negative thoughts that come without warning. Sometimes they come over me like a dense fog that won't lift with the daylight. Sometimes I just want to hide from the world so I don't have to put on a brave face. My lips can form a smile but my bloodshot eyes often give me away. So I avert my gaze when people walk by. I'm sure everyone thinks I'm this frigid person but I just sick and tired of being heartbroken. I don't want to isolate myself but it seems there is no other way to prevent being hurt again. I've bared my soul to one too many people who have just turned and walked away. I can't risk rejection anymore. So I will sit here in my bubble and repeat "I am enough" until the walls stop closing in on me and the voices in my head are deafened.

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