Scaring Away Disaster

My Broken Heart

Since the moment we started talking, I was absolutely giddy. I walked around with a confident strut I rarely exhibited. I admit that I would stare at your picture and daydream about us together. And the day when we would finally meet I was jumping up and down because I didn't think anyone as good-looking as you would ever be interested in ordinary me.


Our date went better than expected. Yes, I saw some red flags in you but I thought your positive qualities outweighed the negative. Plus you were even more attractive than in your pictures. We talked for three hours straight about anything and everything and agreed to meet again soon.


You told me afterwards that you had a great time and I thought it to be a good sign. I should have let you lead the conversation from there but I didn't. I wouldn't leave you alone for the next few days. Then I started feeling like it was all wrong so I pressured you to call me but didn't tell you why. You inferred that I was overeager and moving too fast. I thought I was being paranoid when I didn't hear from you. That you were busy. It wrecked me when it was all but obvious that you had dropped me like a hot potato while I was none the wiser.


I'm glad I scared you away because I don't think I would have pushed you away intentionally. We were not right for each other and I ignored all the signs until it was too late and you rejected me before I got a chance to reject you. I know that if we tried to make it work it would ended terribly. I would have given myself over to you because I thought you were the best there was just because you were so different than I thought I would attract. I wish things had ended differently where I didn't feel like it was all my fault but either way I have glad they ended when they did.

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