free writing II

again i sit

in the midst of beautiful weather

but i cant say that i can share the pleasure.

unhappiness is upon me

through annoyance and impatience.

I try to figure how i can cheer up

through hobbies, friends, or anything in between.

Nothing seems to work as my time just goes to waste.

needing security in the resentful haste.

Lately i havent wanted to let go of hugs.

Just keeping the grip on whoever im attached to.

Just the slight feeling of insurance sooths my mind for seconds.

I want to just sleep but the insomnia has set in.

I cant be in the dream land, but instead I'm stuck in this sour reality.

Trying to be strong, not wanting to reach out,

being the same person i used to be.


Sickening to my stomach but i know no other way.

All I can do is pray that something better comes along,

maybe in another day.

whenever it does come around ill be here, happy to oblige.

I just hope i dont screw it up and go back to feel deprived.

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