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Looked Good
Folder:
Discipline
Well I think I finally did it.
It is sort of a good thing,
yet somehow it doesn't
seem like it.
I know the guy I used to be four
to five years ago would hate me
right about now.
But that's where I am.
I gave up something that seemed
so right.
And for a very long time,
I talked myself into think it was right.
The "it" being a "she"
And long before my last relationship.
But she looked the way she did,
with a smooth talk,
and great personality,
afterall she accepted me in part.
At least she was never embarassed
to be with me in public.
At least she gave me the time of day,
treated me well in her company.
It was nice to actually have a one
on one with a good freind of
the opposite sex.
It felt great,
not because it boosted
my self esteem,
but because I was treated
like I have never been
treated before.
Noone has done this with me,
no matter how small it might
seem to others,
it meant the world to me.
And now I do not know
if another would treat
me as she did.
A choice had to be made,
one beyond the desire I had.
One greater than myself,
not knowing if I would ever
have another one like it.
To be treated as I did,
and let it go,
all for the sake of
growing I know I should.
Not being held prisoner by
my desire and wants,
to be held down if I
persued.
And now to wait once more
for the desire to be filled.
Hopefully the next one
will do more than just
look good.
