I suck

I suck.

I screw everything up.

The cat scan says my brain is normal,

But it lies.

I can't do anything right.

I'm a loser.

I'm a failure.

The ship's sinking and I can't wait to drown.

What a fantasically fucked up day today.

The mirrors show nothing to give me away.

I look like the normal people.

I go to work.

I clean my house.

I pay the bills I can.

But inside I want to shout out "This is Nothing!"

I'm nothing.

Life is nothing.

Let's give up the show and let the nothingness swallow us whole.

Crazy words spoken outloud get you sent to crazy places

Filled with doctor's carrying God complexes in yellow folders.

They are telling you that you're sick and then they go home

And beat their wives and fuck their nannies and ignore their children.

Now that's a sickness that a shotgun can cure.

I babble to myself.

Not wanting to believe I've become this hollow.

I'd swallow an ocean of pills if I thought it would fix me.

But I'm not suicidal.

I hate pain and death looks painful to me,

Because I'd fuck it up and be tied to life pumping machines.

I'd  be a vegtable.

I think terrible thoughts are better then none.

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