if you wonder

If you wonder why we cut all ties with you, 
I would gladly tell you the ugly truth,
They want nothing to do with you
I broke my heart when they both started opening up about you,
I could not believe the lies you told the about me, but trust and believe they know the truth,
They both want nothing more to do with you,
Believe it or not the fact still remains and it's the truth
Both of my boys tell me they don't want to write or call on the phone, 
They never want to go back to your home they would rather you leave them alone
Both the boys stopped talking about you 
Every time they talked about the last time they saw you 
Their resentment grew
They got tired of calling you and you not answering the phone or calling them back
They no longer wanted to wait around for you to make time for them
Neither of them got time for that 
Do you know Dallas asked me if we could change his middle name
He no longer wants to be named after you,
So I told him he was also named after his older brother so he said he was named after Houston not you,
And it broke my heart in two
They tell me if they never see you again it will be to soon, 
Can you believe it will be a year this June
They are growing up so fast sometimes I wish you could see,
But I can't get past the hurt you caused them and me
For years I kept thinking I needed to end the pain and walk away 
And I am glad I was able to tell you how I felt that day 
Some one asked Austin the other day if he was going down this summer to see you 
And he started to cry,
And said no the last timei seen my grandma she tried to take her life,
Ain't it sad that's how he remembers you 
But then again you have only person you have  ever thought about was you 
It is sad that Austin and Dallas knows what attempted suicide is,
For the love of everything holy how do you do that in front of your grandkids? 
If you wonder why we no longer speak your name 
It's because to do so causes to much pain
If you wonder why it has to be this way, 
It's because they are scared of you, they no longer feel safe
If you wonder if we will get over it,
We already have, we got tired of the same old shit 
They have plenty of grandma's so they don't really miss the one
I could not save or protect myself but I will move heaven and earth to protect my sons
So if you're wondering who's choice this was it was theirs not mine, 
But they will be just fine
I know that you miss them they are great kids so I don't blame you,
But I am sorry to say they don't miss you

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