Another goddam love(?) poem

This shirt smells like him. Clean and smooth and blunted.

His eyes are clear and his heart is big

Like an ocean, but contained.

He will never say everything

Simply because he hasn’t yet defined everything.

And to define is to know, for him.

He is the duty-fulfiller.

But with a side so soft I could sink forever

And ever and ever

and ever

He is structured but never ridged.

Driven but never cold

And takes up a place in my heart I thought was gone

Like a disproven theory when I found love wasn’t as lovely as fiction.

But there you are,

The first boy I’ve written to in second person in years

In lifetimes

Kind and understanding

Goofy as hell


Like a father

Like the most sincere lover

I just hope that

I’m not building you up in my head.

Like I do.

In my deepest heart I cannot tell

If I want to love you

Or if I do.

And that’s my biggest secret


Right now

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