What I'm meant for

High School

Long life.

Trying to put the sadness aside.

But I've realized,

I change everyday.

I become someone with new beliefs, new friends, and new ways.

Its an effort to purge away my cares.

But they follow me everywhere.

I read back and try to find a thesis that isn't there.

Because my words are nothing but thin air.

And no matter how hard you try to change the person you've become,

you are a story you can't run from.

I become someone different everyday, someone different, but always sad.

Theres this tumor I've always had.

I would wait for him to allieve the pain,

to suddenly know the things to say,

but those are words not even I know.

So I swallow, and try to hide that fact that it can only grow.

In the end, the sickness kills me to the top.

So turn on the timer, bust out the clocks.

Its a countdown no love can stop.

I went to the seer today,in search of some road that was there all along.

And she said I was blind, that it lay clear in my palm.

"It's all your words, repeated over and over.

A symmetry you started thats too late to break.

You're no special case, no four leaf clover.

You're heart is repetitive and just the same."

And I saw through her eyes what lay ahead,

inevitable as the time and day of my death.

I can't get away through any new city or state,

its not a story from which I can escape.

Sometimes I sit at the gate to my desolateness,

and wish I would have killed this repetition when I had the motivation.

There will be new people, new lives, and new hope.

But I was born nostalgic and old.

Sometimes you can't avoid symmetry you write yourself into.

Be wary of circles, seers, and the truth.

Cause once you are the person you become...

you write stories you can't run from.

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