Endless fall

I will be missed I hope.

Not knowing is what's keeping me from going.
Struggling with two sides of me.
For everyone, I'm sorry.
I do want to die but yet I don't.
I'm selfish both ways.
I'm crazy and I won't
Ripping anger and sadness dwells on me.
But happiness I can also see.
The world is grand.
And I am the cent.
All My insides full of torment.
Decreasingly funny and bold.
I guess after all it's to fold.
Goodbye.