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the past
i read all of my poems
and words that i once said
remembering all the pain that i was in
my soul was lost and dead.
how did i get through it all?
i cant imagine how you must of felt
watching me day after day
and all the sorrow id been delt.
a broken heart a thirteen,
betrayed by my 'best friend' shortly after-
the depression really hit me hard
as i learned there was no cure.
so you moved me far away from it all
in hopes of a brand new start
but then we started fighting alot
and slowly, we drifted apart.
tenth grade year rolled around,
you remember? i fell in love.
i was happy for a little bit
as far as my problems, id seem to rise above.
but then i was forced to make a life changing decision
my whole world was changed
the happiness all came to an end,
as i watched my life re-arrange.
id cut myself with razor blades
and watched my blood run free
but soon my wound would heal itself
and a scar was all you could see.
the therapy didnt help, and in the end there i would stand
with all those pills in my hand.
and i swallowed the pills,
swallowed them all
and patiently waited
for myself to fall.
but somehow i got through all of that
and then i went away
i just wanted my dad to help me
but the drugs lef me astray.
and as i sit here writing all of this
i realize it has been quite a while
since i have thought of all these things
but with a sad heart, i can smile.
i'll tell you the one thing i've learned
before i end this letter
as you once said, things must get worse
before they can get better.
