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Here Follows Some Verses Upon the Dropping of a Cheeto
At half past noon, a seat I take
At the lunch table, with hands that shake.
A bag of treasure lies me before,
Filled with drinks and foods galore.
My stomach growls and my hands reply
By pulling out a lukewarm chicken thigh.
Alas, my stomach doesn't feel
Like consuming a balanced meal.
Instead, I reach for my heart's desire,
A shiny bag the color of fire;
The logo screams the brand name, "Cheetos" -
Those puffy snacks are now my heroes.
Into the Cheetos my teeth doth sink.
My fingers become orange instead of pink.
Nirvana I have achieved at last
As Cheetos break my four-hour fast.
One by one through my fingers they slip.
Puff after puff passes over my lip.
And lo, at this time of contentment and joy,
Satan is present, with a devilish ploy.
(My innocent soul! How I wasn't prepared
For the misfortune Lucifer had for me there!)
I raise one more cheese-flavored puff to my tongue
With naive serenity one has being young.
But this ill-fated Cheeto does not pass my lips,
Does not end its journey as fat on my hips.
No, God has other plans, for this Cheeto, in store -
My beautiful Cheeto falls down to the floor!
I weep, how I weep for this unforeseen loss!
What devil in Hell deemed that I bear this cross!
My heart is sunk, I can't go on!
My dearest beloved puff is gone.
My empty hand mocks me anew
With its fluorescent orange hue.
My stomach cries out in anguish
For that lone, brave Cheeto it will never relish.
My loss! My loss! My God is cruel -
My God, my anger help me cool.
My God, I am being unjust.
I'm overcome with selfish lust.
My human eyes, they cannot see
Your riches in Eternity.
Your Heaven's gates are filled with snacks,
With no diabetes or heart attacks;
I must abandon my Cheetos here,
And focus my gaze on your Heavenly tier.
For all my snacks are gifts from You
To be withdrawn when day is due;
Of all my bagged snacks, none I own -
All belong to Your precious throne.
My God, Your wealth's enough for me,
That waits within Eternity.
The snacks no longer let me love.
My hope and treasure lies above.
