Smiling for the world, but unhappy inside. 

You can't see all I keep inside.

The secrets, the hurt, the heartache and pain.

The reality of what I tried to gain



For all those who took from me

Who hurt me

Who destroyed and tried to ruin me...

But here I stand...strong and flawed.

Never able to get back what I lost.


But I try to fight, to find myself,

Blossoming into somebody else.

Whether that's good or bad, I do not know.

I only hope I put on a good show.


I don't want my scars to be seen,

Or my life put up on a movie screen.

I just want to be left alone,

To try and figure it out on my own.


Which I've failed at.

I can't get back

Those things I feel I lack.

I feel completely out of wack .

My brain I try to rack

For reality....

To try and see

What it is I am missing....


I try to be

What you want of me

Never knowing if you want to see

The true me.....


So I push deep down, smile and nod.

Try to be the good girl I once was.

Before the corruption, when I could function.

Before the hate, when I believed it was fate.

I pretend to be the perfect mate.


And here I am moving on,

From the person I thought I once was

Living the life I could have only dreamed

Despite all of those horrible things.


I'm happy now

I don't know how!

But if you look into my eyes,

You will still see all those things I try to hide.

They are part of me now, deep inside

Just a crazy part of this ride...

Called life.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Something I threw together in about 20 minutes, trying to get back to writing. I'm sorry if it seems scattered. Let me know what you think.

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