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Course of life
The bell rings, signaling the start of class. I'm in my seat, and so are you. The teacher starts to drone on about what we will be doing that day, and I zone out about what I would rather be doing that day. I look up and brown clashes with green. I've caught you looking at me, again. I smile inwardly, and you smile, genuine and bright. If there's one thing I like about the class, it's you. You start to talk to me about something. What are we talking about? Facebook, movies, songs? What does it matter anyway; I just like being here with you, talking to you. I like seeing your eyes light up every time you see me, and I like the way you smile at me, in that special way, as if I'm the only one you can see.
It's evening, and we're sitting in the grass. Close enough to touch, but far enough for passers by to be able to distinguish that we're just friends. We're talking about your girlfriend. You're having problems with her. You still have that look in your eyes, that one that shows how happy you are to be with me. The smile is still there, but now you sigh, as you say something about your girlfriend, look at the ground, then look at me. You seem to be trying to say something. How I wish you would say it.
It's afternoon. We're walking in the park, hand in hand. You called me and told me to come outside. You missed me and couldn't wait till tonight to see me. Now we walk, walk in harmony. We talk about the latest news, how our lives are going. We're enjoying each other's company and that wonderful light in your eyes that is especially for me is still there. You're smiling and looking down at me every couple seconds, holding me closer, as if you never want to let go, never want this moment to end. You love me. I love you. We were meant for each other.
It's mid-morning. We're at school. We're walking around, and you're not smiling anymore. We're walking in utter silence. It's the back of the school, it's empty, except for us. You turn to me, a tortured look on your face. There's no light in your eyes, no smile on your lips. You tell me I don't love you. I disagree. You say I can't show it. I protest. I'm at a loss for words, and I don't know what to say to make this better. Some part of me finds this funny, which is why I'm smiling. I love you, and that part of me that's smiling finds it ironic that you are the one doubting me when I should be the one doubting you. I want to ask you why you put your arm around her. Did you forget me? What does it matter now anyway, you blame me, for everything.
It's night. The night of our 7 month-anniversary. Things are still tense. We're talking on AIM. You know I love you, why won't you please stop this? I tell you I can't show how much I love you because I don't know how. You tell me that you can't be with a person who can't show their emotions. I'm waiting for you to break up with me, anticipating it, but also, maybe dreading it. You tell me that you will not break up with me because that would be stupid. Twenty minutes later, you tell me you're tired of me. I understand, and sign off. You call. I don't want to pick up. I get a message from you, and it says "grr. pick up." I do. I want to make it better if possible. I reply, "ok." I pick up and you say "I'm sorry, it's over." I ask you to repeat, and you do. I guess we fixed the problem. The problem was "us."
The bell rings, signaling the start of class. I'm in my seat, and so are you. The teacher starts to drone on about what we will be doing that day, and I start to zone out about what I would rather be doing that day. I look up, and there's no brown clashing with green. Your eyes are on the teacher. I sigh and look away. I think about how ironic it is. We have become strangers. Odd isn't it? You were my friend, my best friend, my boyfriend, and my love. Now, you have a new role in my life--stranger. So what now stranger? Will we ever meet again?
The bell will ring, signaling the start of class. The teacher will start their lecture, and I shall start to daydream. I will feel someone looking at me, and look up as brown clashes with green yet again. You will smile, and I will smile back. You'll have that genuine happy look in your eyes that you get when you're with me, and you will be smiling. We'll start talking. Facebook, movies, songs? Whatever you want to talk about, we will talk about. We'll have fun, talking and laughing, being with each other. We'll forget the world, and talk all period. You'll look at me and realize that I'm all you've ever wanted and ever will want. Our relationship will start again. First friends, to best friends. This time, we will get to know each other better. We will spend days in the park, like we used to, close enough to touch, yet far enough for passers by to distinguish us as just friends. Someday, we shall start to go out again, and that time, it will work out.
Till then, stranger.
