grandpa

 

If I move on from you is that forgetting you?

 

I could never forget you grandpa?

 

Is it crazy to tell myself your still alive? Cause I’m so scared of letting you go!

 

What if when I admit your gone I forget memories with you?

 

Grandpa how could you go so soon?

 

They say it was a heartache but there not sure I need to know!

 

Grandpa it’s been like 4 years but I can’t go a week with out crying.

 

 

 

I get these flashbacks.

 

You were in the casket.

 

You kind of looked like a vampire with your skin so pale you were in a suite! Your face had wrinkles! For a while I was in denial actually I still am! Sometimes I say what if it wasn’t your body! Or what if really that was someone else and you got kidnapped and live with someone else! I like my what if’s more than the truth! I’m not ready to accept your dead!

 

I know I saw your body! But I just don’t want it to be true!

 

I would say if only you were alive but eventually I need to come out of denial which scares me more than life itself.

 

 

 

At first, I was mad at you for dying I felt like it was unfair.

 

There was this one song that used to make me in tears it’s still a trigger for me.

 

The song was rude it was saying stuff like you stole my heart, cause that’s how it felt.

 

 

 

But know I’m trying to move on and I try and you just pull me back down!

 

Everyone say its unhealthy to do this!

 

It probably is but it’s easier!

 

How am I supposed to move on without forgetting memories with you?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

its sad but it's my story or a little bit of it!

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Cascade's picture

Time might be the only thing

Time might be the only thing that helps. I am so sorry for your loss. This was so touching.

imyourworstnightmarre's picture

thanks

Thanks check at some of my others poems and leave feedback please!

roseblossoms's picture

sorry for your loss

sorry for your loss dearest

Your Grandfather must have been

really special to you!

 

never forget the closeness you had

never forget the good times

those were special gifts you carry

within you 

 

You are letting go of his

earthly  body 

but not his soul 

 

you carry him 

in your heart

 

its ok to miss him

its ok to feel his spirit

 

 

imyourworstnightmarre's picture

thanks

I really enjoyed reading what you wrote was! I'll give it a try thanks!