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I would like to say

you fucked up

big time

I am so trying to understand

but I can not with all this pain 

inside of me

 I need an apology.

I would like to say

I can  move on without one

but

I do not know.

I see that you are hurting too

so maybe an apology

is not appropriate for you

because

you have not come to the terms of your own truth