My Fear of Confrontation

This night is restless, and it's left me chilled

I've been Chosen of three, gifted of two

But a sloth am I, yet I am still filled

Spoiled without content, I share not with you

The light of my faith, It is cancers cure

He's called a charge, "no voice to be silent"

"My Word is wisdom, please trust me I'm sure"

"Invest your gifts, dont burry your talent"

Such fear in me, as I gaze at this blade  

Fingers shall point, YOU HOLIER THAN THOU!

"My word is truth, it's already been made."

Paralyzed I feel, I just can't right now.

"I ask so little, speak just a whisper."

"Your time is up, and their time is right now"

"The way is shut, to every lost sinner."

"How will they hear, if my children don't act?"

"I sent my son for you, now be my voice."

"It's my word with love that we made this pact."

"I've taken the first step, it's now your choice."

"...........My word shall not return void.............."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Inspired by Matthew chapter 25.

This poem is meant to display my fear of  confrontation as the title says. How many times in our lives do we want to do something but fear stops us? It was infact a restless night. I woke up at three a.m. and I wasn't able to go back to sleep. So I piddled around on the internet, worked on my sunday school lesson, and just started reading Matthew and chapter 25 convicted me. The parable of the three men given talents of money has always been preached to me by my father or former pastor in a financial perspective. It did not speak to me about investing money but about investing Gods word into lost people. Everyday I come into contact with people and I as a christian am obligated by God to tell them the truth about Him. I am not a public speaker, and confrontation in totality scares me. But I am a tool and a servent meant to work. If I am with a person and I don't tell them about Christ then the opportunity to reach that person is lost. I have learned that a small majority of the people that I do talk to about Jesus will be silent christians as well and will happily carry on conversations with me about Him. Lost people ususally deter in a civil or angry maner, and then a small few will ask questions. Christians as missionaries minister in two ways, with their walk and their talk. We are comanded to do both, not just one. Three men were given talents, the symblance of the second line is I feel like one of the three. The third line is how lazy I am, but inspite of that I am still blessed with everything I could ask for physically and spiritually. The fourth line is how I want more in life, but I dont want to work for it, and the truth is I am not content with most things in my life. Contentment is  character that will be a hard learned quality in my life. The fourth line is also meant to show my selfishness. I don't want to talk about christianity because I am afraid of being hurt. It is the heighth of selfishness. The fifth line is about salvation. If the bible is true, which I believe it to be true, then all lost people will spend an eternity in hell. My brother is lost and to me its like seeing him with cancer thats slowly killing him. Gods word is the cure, not by reading it, but by believing and living it, and I have Gods word and I don't share it. It's like a doctor witholding a cure to a disease you have. A doctor lives his life as a doctor. People recognize a doctor as a doctor, a person that knows how to treat illnesses. They go to doctors to get better. In the same way people come to me, the why is irrelavent, and I withold what I'm supposed to give them. The sixth line is about Gods word. He commands us..."go ye therefore and teach all nations baptizing them in the name of our Lord..." Baptism in greek means to immerse and it is meant figuratively and literally. We are required to "immerse" people in the word of God by telling them about it, and we are required as christians to immerse ourselves with water as a public proffesion of our faith. The seventh line is about Gods word and it is literally pure wisdom. Wisdom is seeing and responding to life situations from Gods point of veiw. Many people say and choose to believe that Gods word has been deluded and missinterpreted over the years. I do not believe that. One- because I have faith, that though it was written by man, it was inspired by the Holy Spirit of God. Two- the bible is a book comprised of books and letters written by farmers, tax collectors, fishermen and shepards, and was first cannonized by the roman empire. The marvel is that a diverse group of books and letters all come together without contradiction and the historical truth is that the bible as we know it today is 98% accurate to every historical writing of the origional word with the 2% being grammatical changes to the same words. The eighth line is how I feel like the man who burried his money instead of investing it. The ninth line writes about my fear of speaking Gods word. Gods word is symbolized in the bible as a " two edged sword, rightly dividing the word of truth..." When I look at Gods word I see a blade that fights not a battle against flesh, but a battle against spirits and against heaven and hell. The tenth line writes about how I am afraid peole will react when I speak to them  about Jesus. The eleventh line is about the covenant and promises of Gods word; the result of being a christian, the prohesies that have been fullfilled and the prophesies that have yet to come, and how the world will end and be remade. " weapon formed against me shall prosper..." The twelfth line is about the dispensation of our time. A dispinsation is simply how God deals with different people at different times. With Adam and Eve, He walked and talked with them. With Noah, He spoke from the heavens. With Moses he lead Israel out of egypt with a cloud by day and a fire by night. From Isaiah to Malachi God spoke to us through Prophets. In the new testament He spoke to us through Jesus Christ His son. And after Jesus he spoke to us as he does now, through the church, which is the gathering of christians, and through Gods written word known as the Bible. The thirteenth line is again about my fear and how it is so intense it makes me feel paralyzed. I know I am capable of doing it, but I feel like a cant, which in truth is a copout, which is pride, which is rebellion, which is sin. The fourteenth line is again about Gods commandment and how such a truly small thing it is that He asks of us. We don't have to tear down the gates of our government and shout a protest that all lost people are going to hell. It is infact the everyday conversations we hold: "Godbless you" "Is there anything I can pray about for you?" "Can I tell you about my church?" "Can I tell you about my life?" "Can I tell you about my God?" "If you died today do you know where you would go?" "hey I know how you feel I have been there, can I tell you about how God saved me from that?" "hey I dont understand what you're going through because I haven't been through that, but I have a God that knows what you're going through and can make anything possible" The questions don't even need to be answered, they are a seed well planted enough for God to work the rest of the way. The fifthteenth line is about Gods word saying " is the day of salvation..." His commandments require our instant obediance. The lost person wants to say "I'll follow God when I'm ready" and I want to say "I'll speak when I'm ready" In the end we are both being equally dissobediant. The problem is God doesn't work according to our terms. The sixteenth line is about damnation. " one comes to the Father but by me. I am the way the truth and the Life..." No one can save their self no matter how good they are. "...every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord...." the Seventeenth line is that Christians are Gods children. We are not the only way for God to work in a lost persons life but we are one way and we cant be a way if we don't even try. The eighteenth line is about how Jesus Christ died to save us from our sin. "...for God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son. That whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life..." The ninteenth line is about a christians agreement. Once we are saved its time to go to work. So many of us just want to sit in a pew and worship God with songs and music and listen to a preacher. The reality is many of us including myself do this while thousands of people die every day without ever hearing the word of God, and they're lost forever. " did not choose me, but I have chosen you that you may go forth and bear fruit..." Our agreement is to go to work. God doesn't care if we feel uncomfortable about obeying Him. " shall serve only one master..." We are either slaves to the world which leads to damnation, or we are slaves to Christ which leads to paradise. The twentieth line is about the death of Jesus Christ and our free will. "...but commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Jesus went first, now its our turn. The last line is Gods promise. There is nothing that we can say in our own words that will save a person. We might make them feel good, but Gods word is truth and is the only thing that can save anyone. He promises christians that we don't have to worry about what to say to lost people. All we have to do is tell them His Word and His word will not be wasted. It will save people. It saved me, and I am the worst sinner I know.

"Father, give me the strength to stand for you all the time, every day, for the rest of my life. Amen."

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