A fear that never seems to leave

Is difficult to let conceive.

It rests its hands upon my soul

With painful fingers, calmly cold.

I succumb to your very grasp

And to the very throat you clasp

And beg again for some spare mercy

Your bitter sweetness starts to hurt me.

From one fast tick on to the next

My heart becomes hugely complex

With vast arrays of mystery.

A piercing end fit just for me.

While still in this wary unrest

I hope to you it?s just a test.

But fonder does my heart grow of

The fear of fear? a leaking love.

My suspicion grows rather quickly.

Please let nothing massive hit me.

Living in my shadow, cold?

I hope to find my path of old.

The path that keeps me in complacence.

Semi conscious? feelings latent.

The way I?ve always been til recent

Cold as ice but not indecent.

Returning to the days when one

Could say that he had trusted none

And live a life in middle ground

Avoiding all the ups and downs.

It seems a crime to lack life?s passion

A choice made in distasteful fashion.

I must however, disagree.

I think my soul too weak for glee.

Too weak for pain as well as sorrow

Too weak to grasp better tomorrows.

Too strong to give in to existence

That strives only to break persistence!

Too stale from constant bitter blows.

That leave me not an inch to grow!

Too stupid to realize which ones

Should be let in and should be shunned!

Too goddamn sick of every turn

Being filled with eternal burn!

With eyes of red yet rife with ice

With eyes that only threaten life!

With demons lurking every step

To see that you live in unrest!

And never once have I been wronged

In ways that seem not very long!

I need some strength to overcome

What never seems to be undone:

The hatred angled towards my heart

In line to tear and slash apart

Whatever is that keeps me whole.

And push me back? and watch me fold.

I suffer loss and mental ache

And walk a line that soon will break.

And this? I owe it all to you

And all that you have put me through??

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