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Endless
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Old A fear that never seems to leave
Is difficult to let conceive.
It rests its hands upon my soul
With painful fingers, calmly cold.
I succumb to your very grasp
And to the very throat you clasp
And beg again for some spare mercy
Your bitter sweetness starts to hurt me.
From one fast tick on to the next
My heart becomes hugely complex
With vast arrays of mystery.
A piercing end fit just for me.
While still in this wary unrest
I hope to you it?s just a test.
But fonder does my heart grow of
The fear of fear? a leaking love.
My suspicion grows rather quickly.
Please let nothing massive hit me.
Living in my shadow, cold?
I hope to find my path of old.
The path that keeps me in complacence.
Semi conscious? feelings latent.
The way I?ve always been til recent
Cold as ice but not indecent.
Returning to the days when one
Could say that he had trusted none
And live a life in middle ground
Avoiding all the ups and downs.
It seems a crime to lack life?s passion
A choice made in distasteful fashion.
I must however, disagree.
I think my soul too weak for glee.
Too weak for pain as well as sorrow
Too weak to grasp better tomorrows.
Too strong to give in to existence
That strives only to break persistence!
Too stale from constant bitter blows.
That leave me not an inch to grow!
Too stupid to realize which ones
Should be let in and should be shunned!
Too goddamn sick of every turn
Being filled with eternal burn!
With eyes of red yet rife with ice
With eyes that only threaten life!
With demons lurking every step
To see that you live in unrest!
And never once have I been wronged
In ways that seem not very long!
I need some strength to overcome
What never seems to be undone:
The hatred angled towards my heart
In line to tear and slash apart
Whatever is that keeps me whole.
And push me back? and watch me fold.
I suffer loss and mental ache
And walk a line that soon will break.
And this? I owe it all to you
And all that you have put me through??
