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Saturday, July 8, 2006 -- 04:43 AM



Why can't I just go on

as if you never existed

Now that you came into my life

I can't act as if I never knew you

because I do

since that

I can't just ignore you when you walk by

and I can't just pretend not to

look toward your house when I walk

near your block

and I just can't look at our

pictures and feel nothing

I can't wear your clothes

not feel your arms holdin' me

I can't lay in this bed

tossin' and turnin' like we used to do

Nights of passion

sweatin' and moanin' our feelings to each other

saying, " I want to be with you, and only you forever. Have your babies, be your wife, and grow old together..."

Days of walkin' through the park

Holdin' hands, looks of love in our eyes

Afternoons of love

watchin' movies and laughin' together

but no

I can't

I can't be like this

I can't think of what once was

until I examine what is

that I love you

I'm still in love with you

Deep

I knew fallin' in love would get me into trouble

I fell in love with you 2 years ago

and I been fallin' ever since

into this endless abyss

I wish I would hit bottom already.

Those words you said to me cut into me like

1,000 swords

I can't pretend I'm not feeling

this pain

when I am

I can't love you anymore

I can't care about you

I know that saying "I can't" is a sign of weakness

But with you I am weak

you made me put my defenses down

and now

I can't continue to go my way

and you go yours

because you took a part of me away

the part where I don't know myself

I am and will no longer be the original version of myself

Now I can't

get on with my life

I can't get my best friend back

I miss her and she's cryin out to me

I need her, she needs me

It's me

my identity

but I can't

I can't stop thinkin' about what to do

I can't stop bein' in love with you

There's nothing left to do

so I say

I just

can't.