I’ve always wanted 

to get deported from a country.

I always had designs

on getting myself booted 

from some small sovereign country.


I mean I never wanted 

to anything really bad.

I don’t want to hurt anyone

or destroy any property.


I just want to do something 

to the authorities to toss me.

I’d want it to be something funny

like maybe hitting on

the president’s wife

or something harmless.


Then I would be led to a bus

at gunpoint

and provided passage 

to the border.


I’d be like,

“Woo Hoo!

Free bus fare to the border!"


It would make for great press

in the local papers

and it would surely silence

all the critics who predicted

I would never amount to anything.




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