Insatiable--Is that the word?

And what does it matter anymore?
Could I care to go further?
What was, is not.
What is, is not known.

I follow a rythm that is my own,
To you I am just another,
To me I wish I was more,
To the world, I am a speck.

Fame. Glory.
Even Elvis felt it,
Or the lack of it,
Life without love.

We live for one thing.
That is, if you have a heart--
And of course, love that is.
Some of us, unfillable.

I wish I could find.
Find everything.
But I know even then--
That shouldn't work for me.

Music energizes my soul;
I'm a vampire--
Too bad, otherkin know little.
I'm a rarity of rares.

True love is a dream--
Fulfilled to rare few--
I thought I had it--
Change destroys familarity.

What I find now,
Detachment,
But still able to feel,
Still able to be crushed.

I tire of myself;
I want green eyes;
I want immortality;
To learn forever.

Learn,
My appearance then glows,
If I knew,
I could.

Memories shatter my heart,
Each night, each night,
I listen to a song,
Entitled--Show Me Love.

I miss you,
And I miss me,
I miss us,
Change was the ultimate disaster.

Change from Utopia.
Change from a dream.
Delegate what happens next.
I can't have it back--I don't want it.

I feel freedom.
A sorrowful freedom.
Drain, give,
And I take, and I flow.

Feel the auras of all,
And that is what you appear to me,
I give to those who deserve--
Evil deserves nothing.

Let the night swallow emotion.

Louis, how I wish I could be you,
Lestat, how I wish you were real,
Immortality granted,
One true love forever.

Once we are unable to change,
We are unable to live,
Once we know--
We realize nothing.

In order to know everything--
We must know nothing--
To question existence--
Is to prove it.

The keys under my hands,
Flow as if I was a pianist.
One who makes up everything--
A whim of the mind.

Change is a generation;
Change is ourselves;
Change is the universe;
Change is the human soul.

Continue with my games,
And onwards my journey goes--
How I wish I knew what to do--
Before I gray out of existence.

Eternally I've felt like I've been dying--
And yet, they say it is nothing there.
Could it be--
An unsatiable heart?

In my mind
I protect
Everyone else
By pushing them away.

I wish I could have a job--
Making others happy--
What a job that would be--
Their joy is my own.

And that is why.
One true love,
Is what I seek,
Eternally joy.

Change.
And something new.
Are two different things.
And this music plays, all too new.

Ageless, are some things.
But what are these words,
But just labels for ideas--
For objects we behold?

You can't find answers in words.
Words are nothing.
Representation--
All answers are within the mind.

Forever greeting time.

It seems I write forever...
It seems I ...
Long forever...
--Desiring an eternity.

If Heaven were real--
It would never fulfill me.
Perfection is not of the human soul.
Doomed to this flaw, of course.

Imagined, in my little mind,
Was holding, true love,
Eternity forever,
Always and endless.

That was Utopia.
That. Is what I seek.
What. Is what I seek.
Always. Questioning reality.

--All things that were said;
Lies within the future--
Sweet nothings--
True to the moment?

Infinite to mean endless--
Endless to mean without limit--
To mean, forever--
To mean... infinite.

I can't help.
but to find.
That everything that is.
is a paradox.

Life is love.
Love is joy.
Joy taken.
Is evil.

Evil causes pain.
Pain.

What am I.
To write about?
What am I.
To do about myself?

if I could.
I would find.
The answers.
And bring joy.

Lost friends,
To time,
Inevitable ends we meet.
And my name will.

Never be in history.

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