Belief on my own

I have thrown your books

of so called teaching to the floor

mind was grown out of the belief

you truly do exist

till my heart wounded with venomous thorns

body on floor

hand lifted to grasp invisible hopes

my heart moans

acid tearing my inner thoughts

in a pool of thick blood

I sink like quick sand

hope it can be soon

so I can end this grief

bless me with thunderstorm

make the oval forms the size of watermelons

so there would be a trace of my tears

skeleton shaking not for fear

is December and I have no sweater in hand

even my skin has departed its own way

more than what I ask for you to bring

lifted me up drag me to your kingdom

all you did for me

how can I refuse to belief

brought me out of my grief

now mind slowly builds thoughts of relief

so at night I fall to my knees

your words stick to my heart

I give you my life

I give you my faith

but I will refuse to go to church everyday

bunch of hypocrites some may be

using your name to gain wealthy economy

so in my house I will pray and say

thank you for what you have done

yet I will apologized

for I have my love ones on mothers soil

so till the day of my removal

I will try to convinced you

I am needed more here than with you

yet I am thankful for been alive

for you to set my expression tools in front of my eyes

within my own heart

-che

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