Author Information
Unwanted - I am a constant reminder of your pain
Unwanted – I am a constant reminder of your pain
She gave birth to a beautiful little boy
No pain, no sadness, all he brought was pure joy
A new life into this world, for her to love and to hold and call your very own
Her biggest wish was to have more children, her little boy’s clone
Pity she didn’t know that it would be her biggest woe
A horror memory engraved in her heart and soul, a memory she will never be able to let go
If she knew, would she have still gone through following her heart’s desires?
I don’t believe so, and those who do, are all liars
Two years later she couldn’t wait for the birth of her second baby
This time around, she expected a little girl, but the wait was driving her crazy
This little baby just didn’t want to let go and come out to bloom
Two weeks late after the due arrival she decided to leave the womb
Excruciating labour pains for hours is all she felt
Tears streaming down her cheeks while screaming in agony for help
Instead of giving her a caesarean, or calling a doctor, she was told to be silent
The little new-born girl was coming out bridge, large, but no giant
The new-born tore her open from side to side
She lost so much blood giving birth, she could have died
Nurses took the baby and called the doctor
Who only arrived a day later and simply gave her pain killers, his carelessness shocked her
She didn’t want to see or hear her new-born for days
This little baby girl left her in a constant daze
The baby was to blame for her pain
The baby was to blame that she may never have babies ever again
The baby was to blame that she was left alone in a pool of blood
To scream and suffer with so much tears, almost causing a flood
With no one there to ease her pain, no doctor, no friend, no husband, left alone in vain
The baby was to blame for her dismal future which will forever remain
Yet, days later she called this child ‘’Desire’’
Funny, that one’s biggest desire could turn out to be your biggest heart’s regret fire
For this poor baby girl was once wanted
But once she greeted this world, she was immediately unwanted
Weeks passed, months passed, she loved and cared for a baby girl
But in her mind, she was always reminded of the hell she caused her, this little pearl
Decades passed, the baby grew older into a young precious lady
But still, she could not forgive and forget, she had to tell this child what she did to her as a baby
When the child reached her mid-twenties she decided to tell her of the birth from hell
And confessed that she didn’t want anything to do with her for days after the painful spell
She decided to tell her because the child suffered from depression
Showed signs of a cold heart and unlovable, unwanted, signs of death obsession
But her confession didn’t change the child’s behaviour
What was done to the new-born decades earlier will leave a lasting scar forever
The feeling of being unwanted, left alone and unloved, no matter how long
That loneliness and empty feeling the child will always carry that burden along
It almost seemed to make her happy, taking revenge on her own child, maybe
To remind her daughter on a regular basis of the pain she had caused her as a baby
The regrets that she carries for giving birth and wanting a second child
The regrets that she has still grows very deeply and wild
This baby is now 40, and it is me
Three weeks until I turn 41 I was reminded yet again of all the pain I caused her, she is still not free
If I am so unwanted, a constant reminder of your pain
Why then, does God not take me away from your again?
Why can’t I just die to ease your horror memories and unforgettable, forgivable pain?
Why does God keep me on this earth in your presence if all you want is revenge over again?
You want to get me back for what I did to you in your womb
You want to hurt my heart and health as much as you can to revenge your pain memories until my doom
Once Wanted
Became Unwanted
I am a constant reminder of your misery and pain
Why must I be alive? Why does God not take me away? What do you have to gain?
