When You Finally Are Looking at Me

Folder: 
2016

 

That's when you see me,

When your cock's inside.

That's when you hear me,

When your dick is inside.

You look at me

You want,

Me.

Not when the TV blares 

And the baby cries,

But when we fuck.

Your hands wrapped in my hair,

You look in awe,

At me.

It feels,

so good,

In me.

Why wouldn't I want to get fucked?

Why do I look to be fucked? 

Why do you sit at the blaring TV?

Why am I alone with the tears?

Why don't you pick up the phone?

Why are we alone?

The world stops in the bed.

Everything is gone from my head.

I see you looking at me.

The china doll in your eyes,

Cherished and cared,

When you slide you dick inside.

That's when you see me.

That's when I matter.

That's when you care.

That's what I see,

When you finally

Are looking

At me. 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Someone claimed, "All women want is to get fucked."  

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Astral_Tides's picture

Brilliant narrative. Sharp

Brilliant narrative.

Sharp and drab at a glance, but with depth and emotion between the lines.

There are many moments when this explodes in various directions.

The caustic "Author note" really adjusts the tone, great stuff.

 


"The stars awaken a certain reverence, because though always present, they are inaccessible; but all natural objects make a kindred impression, when the mind is open to their influence." R.W.E.

 


 

djtj's picture

Thank you

I like the critque. It is kinda drab with the TV and baby.

Caustic author note changes the tone? How so? 

 

 

 

 

 

Astral_Tides's picture

Well, I feel a bit of an

Well, I feel a bit of an imprisonment through a duality whilst reading this.

One part is submissive and encourages this realm, while the other is yearning for the deeper connection to happen.

Perhaps in both of their vantages.

Silently clawing towards an avenue that is un-responsive to transgression.

Not a necessary component, but a hopeful one.

The author note illustrates that to me.

 


"The stars awaken a certain reverence, because though always present, they are inaccessible; but all natural objects make a kindred impression, when the mind is open to their influence." R.W.E.