holding in

making it harder

I'm in loss of words
but anger shivers down my spine
how much I wanna feel something thats more
but I can't
and even as my outside hold these feelings in
my face no expression
easily to be moved
now that I know
I was not brokenhearted
I was broken hope
hoping that you weren't gonna be that person
that it wouldn't end with terrible turns
it was my choice and thats what burns
but it won't eat me whole
it seethes at my skin
withers in my soul
my eyes so focused my body ,no form
you wouldnt no my  minds torn in pieces
I just wanted to feel I'm in the glass ball
wishing for real
dreaming to caress the world around me
but lonliness is all tht found me
Im finding love not able to fill in my needs
I can't have temporary I need stationary
a real friend down inside
I get up ok and as my day goes on
the burn inside me grows
I dont speak so know one knows
I cant ask for space
I cant say leave me alone
no one knows the real me
past this exterior act
know one ever asks
I'm waiting for alll this thriving pain to fade
it seems like thats all I can feel lately
I have a intense imagination of how emotions should go
why does it seem like I'm mocking instead of being
making me come out as alien a fake
trying to be human but thats my mistake
I dnt want the love I just like the image you put in my head
I want it back ,it was the best mockery
of how it should feel, how I shud be

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