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As I stood there
sadly saying goodbye

thinking this wasn't
supposed to happen
why, oh why then did it?

We had divorced
many years ago

not because love was lost
but alcohol began to rule his world

he was a good man until he drank
and I had led a sheltered life in some ways
had never been around an alcoholic
and didn't know how to handle it

we both remarried & had more children

things went bad for both of us
we talked and planned
and we hoped for a second chance

our plans were coming together
he had quit drinking many years ago

we thought our love
deserved another chance

and then coming home from work one night
his brakes failed and a UPS truck took his life and destroyed our dreams

I felt a raging grief
and placed blame upon myself
thinking had I stayed
this might not have happened

after all these years
I still feel a loss
still wonder......

What would have happened
if we could have had our second chance

jh/5-11