Jot notes 8

Jot notes

Trying to make you proud

Time and time again I fail

And I wonder if it's really worth it

Inside I'm eroding

Slowly but surely

I am beginning to die

Because I'm in search of understanding

But everything in my way is blinding

And I'm swerving trying to find that one road

That will tell me good my son, keep going

I'll be right here incase you fall

But in the end I wonder if I'll get there at all?

I'm trying so hard just to make this life complete

Financially wrecked

Love is gone I'm a mess

I'm so screwed up it's not funny

Because it seems no matter where I go

I drive more people away

I hate the way I'm feeling

But what else can I do?

This is no longer my choice to decide

I just wished right now that I could swallow my pride

I'm so messed up in the head

My dreams unfinished piled cluttered

Like the clothes and dust under my bed

Trying to find out who I am

Because no matter what anyone says

I'm having a hard time believing what they say

That I have a heart for people

That I am awesome, but why am I messed up today?

Dreams turned down, I had faith

Everything seemed to be ok

But then like a lamp falling onto the floor

Everything shattered, pieces of my life thrown every which way

I'm just trying to find the truth of who I am

Because I'm having a hard time believing what others say

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