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Trying to Move Forward
I'm sitting here late at night
In front of the computer screen
Wondering, I'm always wondering
What today could have been
I'm always wondering about this depression
Will it ever subside?
Do you look at me differently?
I can't even look into your eyes
I suppose this is a waste of time
Wondering what could have been
But I still can't help but wonder
Where could I have been?
If I hadn't made these mistakes
If I did not let my feelings lead the way
Could it have been different?
or would everyone still fade away?
Would I be the same person like all those other lonely days?
I feel like I'm always in the dark
Everything fades to black
I wish I could just move forward
without ever having to look back
It's easier said than done
I always try to be like your Son
But this world is too tough
And I just feel like giving up
So as I sit here late at night
contemplating on death
Wondering about this rocky road ahead
I wonder if when I fall asleep and wake up again
Wondering if the next morning my dreams will be shot dead
My mind is always going
Paranoia always seems to seep in
Slowly but surely
my insecurities emerge again
My mental focus is shot
I can't think so clearly
I'm on the edge of complete destruction
Of my whole entire body
Now I keep wondering
Could it have been different?
I try so hard to rewind the past
But I fail each time I attempt to grasp
What has really happened
I can't seem to accept
That God can make it different
And now I am totally lost
I really need his intervention
