JPC 8.2.14


Sometimes all we ask for is an opportunity to act like our weird, dysfunctional selves and feel valuable by a reliable voice of acceptance.  James was the one who opened that door for me, even if for only a brief period of an age when we're all smack dab in the middle of discovering ourselves, let alone discovering how we would impact our own minute, yet precious spheres of influence.  He is one of only a handful to this day whom I truly feel comfortable around in my own skin, and he showed me the power of camaraderie and of truly stretching the boundaries of what I perceived to be conventional wisdom.  The belief in not conforming into a predictable entity, to be the kind of person I simply imagined to be..and there really is no quantifiable value I can place on that level of advice.  


I still think about James all the's usually a really common setting like a Denny's, a pool hall, a bonfire, bowling alley..or more often than not just riding around in my car, remembering riding around in his.   The truly amazing thing was no matter how plain the location, there was always this certain realm of the infinite possibilities which lay before us. I cannot describe it any better than to say it was truly magical... I cherish every night we spent and the hope we shared for the future.  Even if those fantasies have dimmed - exposing the realities existing today - it's this youthful, ignorantly-blissful way we attacked the world back then that I'll remember for the rest if my life.


Ten years ago to this day, and all I can really do is sigh to myself and mutter 'wow' and 'damn' over and over.  My heart's broken today, and somehow wholly mended at the same time.  It's safe to say my life was never the same after the events that occurred ten years ago - I just selfishly wish he coulda stuck around to make my life a little bit brighter...the way he made many of our lives brighter.  


Love you JPC, and miss you dearly

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