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I welcomed National Suicide Prevention Week 

with a pill bottle and a quick hello.

Daring to dream I tapped a tiny tablet toward my palm,

Swished a swig of water 

And wandered to my bed.

I rest my eyes with hoping 

dreams would carry me away, but

Twenty minutes later I tap and tap again. 

One.. two.. two more into my palm

All their little friends wishing they were gone.

Today I was told suicide does not end the chance of life getting worse;

Suicide eliminates the possibility of it getting any better.

An online acquiantance informed me 

I matter more than I think I do,

I'm doing better than I think I am, 

and I'm stronger than anyone, including I, could ever think.

I don't think she knows me very well

and I think she only spoke because I spoke first.

Ati- Ati- Ativan, calm my nerves. 

Just another dose is everything I deserve.