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“Lost Myself”

There is music playing in my head, as her bare feet glided across the stone pavers.

She was beautiful in her white funeral gown, with dead eyes she lead me to her own pyre.

I can see the flames burning away. I can feel the death creeping my way.

She comes to me in the image of beauty, a weakness in my heart she whispers to it.

Did I finally discover my insanity? Having conversations with myself.

“The vision of death dances on in my mind,

to lose myself within the thoughts I find.

Silly dreams of such childish things,

where imagination is left to decay

all hope for humanity will rot away.”

Dreams that always fade before they begin, now reaching for the nightmares for solace.

Trying to live in love, desperate to live with love. Just another reminder of a fallen angel.

Wandering a morally corrupt wasteland, knowing no one will ever understand.

“I traded the devil the best of myself,

and can think of a thousand reasons as to why I lost myself.

It's a fate that I deserve no less,

It's my date to reserve my death.”

Did I throw away my soul, did I abandon all hope. Lost myself to the madness.

Have I truly gave up on all of this? “The beauty behind the chaos.”

Trying to find myself in this darkness, following the scent of you.

Reserved my seat in hell as I followed the devil.

The skies will go dark and gray, the solemn moment before the rain.

When the heavens open up and the stars weep from above. “Wash away the pain.”

*Addendum*

I have been lost for so long, a voice with no song.

I can remember the day I would scream “Where do I belong?”

As grace continues to pass me by, a dream turned nightmare when I close my eyes.

Beautiful memories fade over time as the emptiness will only grow,

trying desperately to find myself before I lose even more control.

“With her finger she gently traces the beauty buried deep within my soul.

To wash the nightmares from this day, to keep the demons away.

She walks in a field of roses. In my dreams of ambrosia.

This reality we manifest is, 'experience this misery' we infect.

It's only when I find myself, can I escape from this hell.”