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From Black to White to Nothing
What is happening?
From back to white to nothing is how my life has played out
Take a look through the colorblind eyes and when you see your gray tears begin to take form, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about
It fades, it fades, and it is all fading away
There is no hope left for me on this planet, no not tomorrow, no not today
Why, oh God, why?
It seems as if I have mislaid all of my control
Why, oh God, why?
A confounded owner of a nomad heart and a vagabond soul
My wrists want to bleed
My feet want to jump down, down, down
My jaded mind wants to concede
My hyperactive corpse just wants to drown, drown, drown
Anger fills me, fear overwhelms me, and I can't avoid the pain
Silence shuts me, desire devours me, but these thoughts that have been incised in my brain will always remain
My prescription has depleted, no meds in three days, on the roof, oh God, on the roof five stories up, waiting to descend
I could have jumped down, oh God; I could have made it all come to a sudden, tragic end
Why me?
Not again, what is happening? Closer to death than ever
Impulses rise, I fall; will this perpetual process go on forever?
What am I holding in, what is at the core of all this malicious madness?
What am I hiding from, what is the source of all this fear and sadness?
I have to find the long, lost answers to the questions that I hope are never asked again
From color to gray to nothing, who pulled the plug and permitted the visible spectrum to drain?
What is happening?
From black to white to nothing is how this cycle always remains
Take a look at the colorblind world and pay particular attention to the gray blood spilling out of your veins
It slips, it slips, and it is all slipping away
There is no hope left for this world, why couldn't the trust always stay?
Why, oh God, why?
A failure with no self-esteem or someone to love
Why oh God, why?
When the whole world is gray, there's no reason to look up at the skies above
I hate myself, my face, I want to rip it off, scratch it until it bleeds
I hate this world, this life, I want to kill it all, drop the bomb and destroy all the seeds
The only place I could run back to is my home, but I seem to have misplaced the key
The only possession I cherish is my mind, but even that betrays me
From everything to something to nothing, crawling in the dark in fear, this process has once again repeated
The panic, the doubt, the worries...they all crush me and I feel defeated
I hate my corruption, I just want to be myself, but I don't know how
I bend under pressure, I snap under anxiety; this all must stop now!
I hate the way my mind takes control and designs my own poisoned path
I hate the way this black and white world captures my soul and cages it in its own wicked wrath
From white to black to nothing, it doesn't matter which comes first, it's still a three punch knockout all the same
From black to white to nothing, if depression were a profession; I'd be in the Hall of Fame
From real to counterfeit, I had a dream inside of a nightmare tonight
In the midst of this artificial, mechanical world, I saw the most spectacular psuedo sight
Somewhere in between the gray rain clouds and behind the black rainbow, I saw color for the first time
The yellow sun started to shine so bright on the green grass, the red roses began to bloom; I looked into your eyes and finally made you mine
Everything is okay now, from nothing to something to everything, now together we can lay below the resplendent rainbow
I can showcase a subtle smile upon my face, from nothing to gray to color; now I will no longer need to hide in the soft, white snow
All walls are down, all depression has departed, and nothing is left that is false and fake
All fear is banished, all doubts have fallen; nothing has remained that is gray and opaque
My soul sings in the breeze like a wind chime...I am reborn, I am free
I flow at the speed of time...I am human, I am me
From bronze to silver to gold, now I'll take a sip from that forbidden golden cup
From black to white to nothing, everything will be just fine as long as I never wake up
-written by Donnie Darkhorse and Ian Cummings-
