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Dreaded Awareness
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Dark What wonderous beauty this world holds
The serenity of a sunset red, yellow and gold
It's the small things that make life worthwhile
Kisses, hugs and unconditional smiles
Breathing in the sweet autumn air
The aroma of jasmines flowing thru my hair
Suddenly I clench as the pain comes again
Sweating and trembling, shaking my hands
My heart beats rapidly at each constriction
What could I have done to fight off this affliction?
Tasting the morphine as it slowly goes down
Calming my body the pain finally drowns
The birth of my children, I remember each one
So soft, so tiny my bundles of love now grown
A part of me exist in each one of you
In your heart and your mind you know "I love you"
Thru clouds into shadows sleep creeps over me
These dreams are but memories of what I've seen
Mistakes made and regrets tucked away
No changing the past, I'll make my peace one day
I lived my life for happiness sake
No thought of circumstances or cost at stake
Sleeping for hours in nightmarish dreams
Awakened only by imaginary hellish screams
Surrounded in darkness as I open my eyes
No stars, no moon, only blackness in sight
It's cold all around as though winter's moved in
I can't move my arms, legs, my feet or my hands
Will someone come and turn on a light?
I'm in need of a blanket, it's too cold tonight
I'm scared, alone....I can't do for myself
I'm lost and trapped with no one about
For hours I lay in this nothingness place
Then realization comes of my exact state
I heard cries up above of sadness and despair
I remember the voice of the doctor
The pronouncement of death
I am gone from the world and all those around
A lifeless corpse forever entombed in the ground
Never again to have what I love
No more beauty or comfort...the warmth of the sun
My soul has left and now I must pay
My sins and mistakes revisited this day
Insects and bacteria my flesh eat away
Embalming preventing a rapid decay
I can only wait for my awareness to fade
Here in this tomb marked with my name
