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I can't stand all the ugliness inside of me.

Hellish voices of the past saturate me in negativity.

I have to live my life as I see fit.

I have to live for me.

I only have to answer to myself and god above.

I've learned many lessons along the way,

But I specialize in a symptom called love.

I have given my all to people like you.

Still you wring me dry...

I'm taught tight, and wrung all the way through.

My scars have never been this visible.

It's a show and tell beyond my will.

I'm sick of being judged on my past.

Some things were not meant to last.

Don't hold my hand I need to walk alone.

Down the roads of trail and tribulation.

Somehow my luggage has gotten lost.

I'm still stuck wandering at the station.

I'll never be what you want me to be.

I'll never be someone to be proud of.

I've done so much for people like you.

Blood is thicker than water but its a carrier.

I was born into this disease.

I'll never feel at ease.

I'm not even comfortable in my own skin.

I tattoo and cosmetic-fy to elude.

I'm just another pretty face in a nameless crowd.

I've changed myself just to fit in along your race.

Just to have my own words spat back in my face.

At times I don't want to be the bigger person.

I know two wrongs don't make a right.

I'd rather be the mediator and not start anymore fights.

I don't know what else to say.

I just have to live for myself,starting with today.

I love and appreciate you all.

You've taught me things along my way.

Yet you're angered because I escaped the flock.

I've decided to long ago to stray.

I can't pinpoint exactly when It happened.

I started thinking of myself a bit more.

I grew tired of taking care of you all.

I was your rock and you confided in me.

I've kept all your dirty secrets under lock and key.

I remember when you used to lock yourself up in the closet.

Caterpillar style...I feeling lost and confused all the while.

When did the tables turn?

I thought you were supposed to be the parent.

I never wanted to be your shrink.

The boundaries got blurred and unrecognizable.

What could you have possibly learned from a tortured soul like me?

Wasn't it you who once called me green and naive?

I thought that I was a major disappointment.

I know that I'm only a disappointment in your own eyes.

Don't try to live your life out through me.

Right now I have all that I need.

I have a good head on my shoulders.

I have all the love that I can handle.

I know you all had a bigger picture for me.

A portrait well painted out of your own desires and needs.

All I ever wanted was for someone to love me.

I wanted a love to last through the ages of time.

Finally a love like that is mine.

Yet you don't approve,

that's no big surprise.

Nobody's perfect.

I'm the first to say that I'm not.

The truth is neither are any of you.

I still have a lot of soul-searching to do.

I have trunks of the past stored away in my closet.

I guess I'm just a emotional pack-rat.

I never know when to just let it go.

All these bad memories just fester and rot inside of me.

They've all past their expiration date.

I wish I could just throw them down the garbage disposal.

I'd hit the switch and send them merrily on their way.

After all we've been through I still can't forget people like you.

You've all made me they way I am.

I've learned and taken from each one of you.

We've exchanged words and lethal blows.

We've cried and viciously lied.

We've reconciled worth while.

Still, I feel the need to please and honor you.

I just can't do it anymore.

There's no win-win to this situation.

It's just the same as before.

I'm still wandering about at that train station.

I took flight again, I've spread my wings.

Yet the wounds from your words still sting.

Everything I've been told still haunt me.

It's just the curse of are family tree.

I still love you all.

These words are true.

I am who I am today.

Because of people like you.