The World's Greatest Drama

The more tragic the tragedy, the more the audience will applaude. We derive great pleasure from the suffering of others but for our own sick and twisted little reasons. Whether it be because we can relate to the pain, or because we just like to mock those who suffer. Whatever the reason, the drama is more enjoyable with a twist. Throw a bit of irony into the mix, or perhaps an unsolveable riddle that distracts the true problem at hand only to figure out the riddle after it's too late. A friends last words to tell you to take care of yourself only to find yourself with a knife to your neck, an awe-inspiring irony. I want to know how the emotions work in the favour of the people who deal with their everyday problems. Why do people seem to get worked up about nothing. Why can't people let go of the past to realize what a wonderful future there is. Why do I repediately wake up at 3 am and wonder these things. What is wrong with me. These are questions I ask with no intentions to figure it out. I want to create the world's greatest drama, I want people to relive the experience, heighten their emotions to a whole new level. People hide what they feel only because they fear what might happen if they let loose. Always being the good guy and getting nowhere, being the bad guy and manipulating everyone and everything and getting what you want. People wonder why I do this, its simple because I am tired of losing. I lose all the time, I lose my family, I lose my friends I lose the lives of important people. What am I to think of the consequences that may follow my actions. When I was once selfless have I know become selfish and bitter, so cynical of everyone and their intentions in life so I confront them to bring a little bit of drama into their lives. Some people try to read me but they read me all wrong, I can be your best friend and that is it. I can't be an enemy because I don't fight, I don't show my anger to your face, instead I bring myself down and watch as I slowly drift away from existance. I say I am always honest because I have nothing to hide but every second word I say is a lie lately to protect myself from getting involved with anything...or anyone. Who knows where I will end up, I am losing my memory fast, I don't know why. I probably did it to myself but I don't seem to recollect. I like to emphasize the problems and minimize the potential to figure things out. I don't seem to care about anything anymore which bothers me greatly. I have watched the tears of others and wonder when my turn is going to come but it never does. When I resort to emotions, it always ends up with anger, and it gets me nowhere other then losing my touch with reality and slipping into a world where nothing makes sense and I don't wonder anymore, just accept things as they are. I would like to think I am compassionate but I only do it because I want acceptance. Everything I do, no matter how selfless it seems to others always derives back to me trying to help myself out. A perfect life is a fucking lie. Don't believe in anything and you'll never get hurt, but you will also get nowhere, fast. Progress of life doesn't mean anything if you aren't happy with the changes. Evolution is just the opinion of everyone believing we are changing for the greater good but I don't see the wars stopping, the poverting ending, the homeless with proper habitats, the hungry with food, the uneducated with schools. Deceit and slanderous lies is how our society gets along with each other. If we stab each other in the backs, and make sure they're paralyzed then we know we have no enemies, but we also have no friends either. Simply Ironic in its simplicity. I don't even make sense anymore, I just ramble incoherently about nothing to prove that I exist, because its the least I can do, and the least is all I am ever going to give.

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