(13) 1/7/83 Something I Must Tell You

Hey, I thought I'd heard them all

All the lines, the same

He loves me, then he loves me not

the same old silly game



I used to dream once

of this special man

not like anyone else

that loves me all he can



But once again, I'm faced with real life

I'm sad that it's not true

I wish so hard for someone real to love

I just don't know what to do



Sometimes, when I getlonely

I stare right at the phone

there's never anyone I can call

When I hate to be alone



One day I met that special man

He said nothing I'd already heard

Everything felt so new and fresh

I loved his every word



My life was happy, running smooth

but my past kept creeping in

I wanted to suppress the doubts and fears

but there was no way to win



With my anxieties, I hurt him

I hate how I got scared

I'm afraid now he'll leave for good

and never know I cared



Please don't go yet Special Man

Hear something I must tell you

I don't care if it's been said before

Just understand, I love you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written for David.  David had had a crush on me since we were little kids.  He was the nephew of my stepmother, a step-cousin as it were.  We'd seen each other every Christmas and Easter for most of our lives.  

David wanted to be my boyfriend, but after a few weeks, he expressed not being ready for a serious relationship.  What would Grandma say?  My stepmother, his mom?  As quickly as it began, it should have been over.  Our relationship was one of Same Time, Next Year secret meetings that lasted five years. There was just something about him that I couldn't say no to.  I wrote this poem hoping he'd stay.  I found it years later in his dresser drawer.  Unlike Tom, he kept it.

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