For Jena.

Folder: 
-Beans-

...and some statements cut deeper than you'll ever know.



Whether you aimed there or not, your shot went

right through your good intensions and wound up in my heart.

The pit of my stomach aches, bereft, with an intolerble emptiness,

my mind turns restless, this heartbreak alone, remains inconsolable.

Dreaming of what turned nightmare, against me, but believing

in something greater than myself, because without it,

I'd be unknown, to my own eyes.

Can nothing provide proof, without incident,

of a time when love was limitless. Whenever,

I think about you, it's as if my world around me, crashes.

Can I trust that I can be reminded of the way things were,

without turning inward on myself with a scalpel,

with the precision and skill of a surgeon.

Can you make me feel like anything less than just

an embarassing footnote in the chapters of your scrapbook.

How does it look? Does it feel like you knew it always would?

To me it does. The Irony is unfucking surreal, but that's not all,

my train wrecks and it's like I'll never be happy again, without you.

But another time, another place, yet another face, I never had the gift of holding onto.

If this is goodbye, then lay where you lie. Keep your ghost from haunting me

and I'll keep from pulling out the stitches and allow Time, to heal this wound,

I'll keep my shadow to myself, from romanticizing your light, If nothing else can be said,

I'll die inside, a little, All For You.


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